The R Word.

This blog post was supposed to have happened last week, but due to me being afraid and for other reasons, I never did post it. But today's talk in class about how we should talk about sex more in our lives and not be total afraid of it but not misuse it, brought it back up for me to talk about it again. I was to talk about the R word, the word that no one wants to talk about until it happens to them or someone they know, that word is rape. Now this is a really touchy thing for me to sadly write about because, I was nearly raped when I was younger and that scared me really badly, I felt ashamed of myself for letting it happen. I questioned that if I’m truly a good person or was I being punished by God for something that I did. I took all that blame onto myself for many years until I was fully able to forgive myself, and tell my story to my family. Yet there was still scars left that I think, I just left unclean until I saw the Feather Tales. I don’t usually cry during films, unless if they are beautiful or I relate to them, while this was a beautiful film, sadly I got to relate to it. Now I want you guys to understand that while I’m saying we should talk more about rape, and how damaging it can be. We should also wait until those who had it happen to them are ready to tell their own story on their own. It’s like talking about the hole that sex can leave in your body, only you didn’t want that hole there. Sometimes the hole heals and others want to help other people overcome or understand what rape truly is, while other holes may never heal. Personally the hole left in my life, while it may be healing, isn’t fully ready for me to talk about it with others all the time. So I would kindly ask, that while I brought this up myself, that I also close this up. You can comment about it on the blog if you like, but I don’t think I would be able to handle talking about it face to face with other people. I do hope that none of you guys have to have something awful like that happen to you. Because like Au Jour, while it does leave a hole, the hole is something that you never truly wanted and you are stuck with until you feel like you can truly move on past this.