My Time

Hey guys,

So, reading Fool's Errand was a bit of an eye-opener for me, kind of on a different level.

I came into film production with absolutely no prior experience with anything. Just a passion for the art. I was nervous but super excited when the semester started, but when I started seeing how accomplished some of you guys were, I got really intimidated. I feared that I could never live up to what everyone else was doing. Then I became afraid: afraid of falling behind, afraid of not producing works that lived up to the standards and expectations of the classes. I quickly became more worried about grades than actually learning. I've been so worried about pleasing my professors that I've forgotten that I'm here for MY education, MY career.

I've really always struggled with this sort of thing, comparing myself to others (I mean, who doesn't?). But slowly I've been realizing that (and Keith Lango's blog really re-enforced this) I shouldn't keep trying to live up to anyone else's standards, because God hasn't called me to be anyone else. So what if I've never shot or edited any video on my own? I'm here to learn, not to impress. I realize now that if I keep going like this, my only motivation being to keep up with everyone else, I will get burned out pretty quickly. I understand now that it's about what I, personally and uniquely, can take from this education and what I can give back, not about what I can conform to.

I know it's pretty cliche, but this verse just popped into my head as I was writing this.