Entry #2: Homemade Spaghetti

                  I feel that, to effectively write this blog post, I need to be in silence. I also need to stay in the current state of mind that I was in after the films we watched today. Why? Because after I see something sad or moving or challenging, my first instinct is to replace my negative feelings with a happier distraction. I want to forget about what I saw as quickly as possible so I won’t dwell on it.

I don’t like to stew in negative emotions. I’m much more akin to the fleeting joys of material things and the internet than reality. As someone who has anxiety, I’ve been taught how to ignore and suppress those feelings to they don’t rain on my parade. But, after what we discussed and watched today, I got to thinking: is that healthy? By doing that, am I making myself weaker against the negative side of life?

Last night, I was really missing home and my family.  My roommate made us homemade spaghetti for dinner and it reminded me of cooking dinner with my mother. Even now, I’m tearing up thinking about it. Lately, I’ve really been to shut out the feeling of missing home. But, maybe I should allow myself to feel sad. Like Prof. Leeper said, “those who dwell in mirth are fools”. Staying happy all the time and not allowing yourself to feel sad gives you a very lop-sided view of life.

But, I think a lot of people have trouble balancing negatives and positives. Have you ever noticed that? People seem either always cheery or always depressed. Finding that balance isn’t easy, I guess. This week, I’ve been trying to keep James 1:2 in mind: “consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.” Whenever I’m feeling weighed down and upset, I have to remember that it’s because God’s working on me.   

So, by accepting tragedy and its place in our lives, we can better appreciate the joys in life. I may or may not be preaching to the choir here, but do feel like I learned something very helpful today.

With that out of my system, I'm going to enjoy a pizza, because pizza after a hard-to-swallow discussion in class sounds pretty good right now. Bye!